SUNDAY BLOG: Colour, Compassion and Tired Eyes

What A Mess And It’s Not Over Yet

My goodness, what a mess. Some people laughed at the young audience who were so disappointed when One Direction cancelled their concert. That’s so unfair. One man asked me why young girls get so hysterical about boy bands. Why do young boys and grown men get so hysterical about football and rugby? Passion. A love of entertainment, identifying with the boys – if you haven’t ever felt that excitement it’s a pity.

But this was a disaster. Standing waiting for their place in the Arena, that poor man coming out and telling them it’s not going to happen after hours of anticipation, not one of the band having the courage to appear on stage and make a comment and at the very least letting the audience see them and hear from their own lips and then, instead of coming out into the wet and windy night with a glow, as one mother put it, they were in a bubble of tears. Now the band have agreed to play on Friday night to make up for it. But what about the ice hockey game that night? Sheffield Stealers are up in a heap because their game with the Belfast Giants has been cancelled to facilitate the extra concert. It’s all getting very nasty and very badly handled.

My compliments to the young audience, they left in an orderly manner and spoke well to the media. Some will see their idols tomorrow, others have long gone to far flung parts and won’t. Wouldn’t it be nice if One Direction took some of their precious time to write a note to go along with the refunds saying sorry, then at least those fans would have something to show for their disappointment.

 

appreciate the beauty of people and autumn
appreciate the beauty autumn, Belfast Castle

The dry and beautiful weather is providing us with the most fabulous autumn backdrop.  The leaves are turning golden and scarlet, breathtaking and provided we don’t have bitter cold storms these will continue to delight.  Best wishes to all who aren’t feeling too well today, try to get to the window and look out and if there’s a tree in sight it will make you smile.

I watch this tree every year as it matures. It will be brilliant in a couple of weeks
I watch this tree every year as it matures. It will be brilliant in a couple of weeks, Shore Road Belfast

 

What Are These People On?

 

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Why can I not appreciate Strictly Come Dancing?  The two girls simpering, everyone ‘upping their game’, judges showing off, manic screaming and that awful opening music.  But I tholed it last weekend just to see Daniel, or was it Jeffery Donaldson?   The judges think Daniel and Kristina had charm and elegance and they danced a mean fox trot – 23 points, and he said they can build on it.  Wrong.  He’s gone, like my youth, too soon.

If nothing else, Daniel is a real gentleman with a nice turn of phrase and a sense of humour.

Daniel O'Donnell and Kristina Rihanoff
Daniel O’Donnell and Kristina Rihanoff

Then it was the  X-Factor.  Reminds me of the Christians being thrown to the lions in a Roman amphitheatre when the Emperor give the thumbs up or thumbs down in front of a baying crowd.

 

Tea Stands For Tremendous

There’s an awful old music hall joke, what goes in dry, comes out wet and give immense satisfaction?  The answer is, of course, a teabag.  No matter what tragedy befalls a family on television, someone will go and make a cup of tea and that somehow puts the world to rights.

I once picked tea on a plantation in Bangladesh and I’m proud of that.

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With the women in their colourful dress and huge baskets on the backs, I baked in the sun but only for a while, I was able to get into the shade and have a drink without anyone shouting at me for shirking.  It was an experience I’ll never forget and when I have a cup of tea made from leaves and poured from a teapot, more often than not I’ll think about those women, so friendly and hard working.
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Tea is used for all sorts of things, dying Easter eggs for one thing but I also gleaned this information from the internet.  Discarded tea bags can be used in lots of different ways – dampen them and  place them on your eyes to reduce dark circles and puffy tired eyes, bites, spots, sunburn (next summer hopefully) and cold sores this winter, in the fridge they will act as a deodoriser, the same if placed in a pair of shoes overnight.  Put them into water with greasy dishes and in the morning they will be much easier to wash and insects and rodents hate the smell of mint tea bags, so scatter them around!

Not much to look like but very useful
Not much to look like but very useful

 

 

There is Help And Compassion

alzheimers-s3-old-woman

I think it’s dreadfully unfair for a national newspaper to lead with the huge front page banner headline – Memory Loss Breakthrough – An implant that can reverse damage of Alzheimer’s. Inside headline: High-tech memory offers ‘very exciting new hope’ – they only add in small print that this hope will not be realised for a long time.

The thought of Alzheimer’s frightens everyone and to read that scientists in Southern California have developed an electronic implant that will retain memories, and so help brains damaged with this disease, is exciting. Only when you go to Page 6 will you read it isn’t something that people with dementia can expect to be readily available in the next decade. Dr. Clare Walton of the Alzheimer’s Society said that if this device is developed further and successfully tested in humans, it could prove to be an effective treatment for some of the symptoms of dementia. “However,” she added, “it will not cure or slow down the progression of the condition.”
Giving with one hand and taking away with the other.
Of course it’s good news that research is pointing towards positive results and ten years is a short time for some but too long for others.

Dementia1
There are currently 19,765 people in Northern Ireland living with dementia with that figure set to rise as the population ages so, in the meantime, families have to manage the condition when it effects one of their relations.
Pauline (not her real name) is 43 and an only child. She is very close to her mother and father, she admits she takes after her dad, decisive, straight talking, an achiever. He was a successful businessman in Co. Fermanagh, a typical husband who saw himself as the bread winner and his wife as the home maker. Pauline admired him although there were times when they came to loggerheads: “He always won, he was always right!”
More recently, in his retirement, she began to observe little things that worried her. “He got fussed when dealing with money. He withdrew a lot of cash from the bank to transfer into another bank. He set it on the kitchen table and began counting it before taking it to lodge. Once he would have done this by cheque or electronically but he got this bee in his bonnet that he had to be in control of it, actually to see hundreds of notes in front of him.” He also became short tempered. “There was no talking to him, it was his way or no way and at times he was verging on the aggressive.”

Worry
Worry

What does a daughter do when she suspects her father is sliding into dementia? “He was a top businessman, took meetings, made decisions, was the head of the family. We looked up to him, when he was around everything was OK, we knew we were safe and he’d make everything right. Then it changed.” His behaviour had reached a notable pattern and is now impacting on his daily life.
I turned to the Northern Ireland Alzheimer’s Society where I talked to Dementia Support worker James Erskine. He explained that dementia is something of an umbrella term with over 100 different types of this degenerate disease of the brain coming under that heading. Of those effected by dementia two thirds will experience Alzheimer’s.
What to do if a member of your family shows signs and what are those signs.
Symptoms vary but as a guide they include memory loss, changes in personality, the frustration of knowing something isn’t right, maybe difficulty in selecting words. Because this illness attacks the brain, the whole person is effected but it’s important to consider if the symptoms could be attributed to something else such as an infection or a mix of prescription drugs. This would be a way to get your dad along to the GP Pauline, a simple health check but giving you the chance to introduce the subject of dementia and open up the conversation.

Dementia can effect younger people
Dementia can effect younger people

If it turns out to be dementia, James tells me that it’s important to treat the person with dignity, when they say things that are obviously incorrect, go along with it rather than correcting the person because that undermines their confidence and cause fear which leads to frustration. Don’t argue,
He advises anyone in Pauline’s position should research the subject, get advice, find out about the assessment process and ways of managing the disease. There is no better place than the Alzheimer’s Society where support worker James Erskine and his colleagues throughout Northern Ireland, (there are more than 135 local services), will give you one to one advice. Everyone is different so information will be specific to you and your dad.
Young people seem to take it in their stride. I met a delightful teenager in Belfast recently and we got talking. She sees her granny as just a special lady with an old brain that’s a bit tired. “She’s lovely but she lives in a world of her own, I try to get into it with her but it’s difficult and sometimes very funny. She gets me mixed up with her sister, I’m only 19 and her sister if she was alive today would have been about 101!” I told her I was sure her cheerfulness gave her granny great pleasure. “We have a new game,” she said with a big smile. “I bring a load of socks with me and she loves putting the pairs together, she feels a sense of achievement matching them and she loves the colours.”

Now there’s a great idea from a young person thinking about the life of an older person. Sadly it’s not always just as easy as that but there is help at hand.
Alzheimers national helpline is 0300 222 11 22: the local phone number is 028 90 664100: e-mail nir@alzheimers.org.uk and the website is www.alzheimers.org.uk

Back next Sunday with news of a new book about the Donegal legend Bridie Gallagher who took her Irish songs round the world.

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